I look like a mom.
I had suspected so for quite some time now but winter has really upped the ante. I saw a photo of myself on time hop that was from a past summer. I was pretty and tan and... happy? I could barely recognize myself.
I saw my reflection in the large mirrors at the gym last week and honestly got embarrassed. My thighs had cellulite. My arms looked like I may struggle to secure a hair tie. My butt looked nothing like the butt I used to bring to this place. This was the butt of a middle aged woman. I looked like a mom.
I was out the other day and a little girl walked right up to me. She lifted herself onto my lap. She touched my face and smiled. We had never met before but I knew what she was thinking; I looked like a mom.
I looked safe. I had a lap that looked worn. I had arms that knew how to rock sleeping babies. I had fingers that could spin ringlets and hands that had surely wiped away tears.
I wear robes more than heels now, and T-shirt’s more than lace. There is a diaper in my purse and a napkin in my pocket with someone’s dried snot in it. There is nothing about me that I’d want to flaunt on Instagram but my kids gush every single time we take a picture.
No, I don’t look like I used to, and sometimes it makes me cringe. But every woman deserves to hear one person remind them that there is absolutely nothing that looks more beautiful than love. And we are filled to the brim with it.
So yes you beautiful, strong, nightmare chasing hero, you look like a woman who knows a thing or two about love.
You look like a mom.
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