Building Relationships

When my friend’s dad died unexpectedly she called me, because there is no app for that.

I didn’t know what to say. One second her life was spinning and then suddenly it stopped. I whispered “I’m sorry,” and immediately cried. I didn’t know her dad well, but I knew her, and so I broke when she did.

When my best friend had twins, I stayed with her for days. I cooked her family dinners and took her daughter to the park. That’s what happens when we have relationships with real people; we show up for them in real life.

In the age of social media, it can be tempting to fake relationships. It can be tempting to post photos that fake intimacy, or fulfillment, or success. Everything we don’t like about our lives, we put filters on, and it’s tempting to create spaces where things look pretty.

You don’t need to be a social influencer to know that you have influence. We all have influence wherever we have relationships.

We have the power to make each other feel seen.

It’s when you tuck the kids in bed at night. It’s when you ask your husband to tell the story you already know the ending too. It’s when you text the friends you know won’t want to get out of bed, and tell them why they should.

I am worried that the more visible we become online, the more invisible we all feel off. We can’t be more present in manufactured lives, than we are in our real ones.

Technology should enhance relationships, not replace them.

People aren’t “brands”. They are people, and we all drink the kool aid.

At some point we started using filters, and now everything about us is photoshopped.

Let’s use social media to create community that spills into our real lives.

Let’s be honest about the jobs that didn’t call us back.

Let’s raise daughters who don’t think they need likes to be liked. Let’s commit to building relationships instead of followers because numbers don’t answer the phone at 2am.

We are wired to need real relationships with real people because this is real life and life is hard.

& There is no app for that.


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